I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few days. I’ve filed for unemployment. I’ve begun searching for new jobs. I updated my resume. I updated my instagram profile to “former Pre K – 5 Media Specialist.” It’s just been an absolute whirlwind.
I’ve been laid off from two jobs prior, and was barely impacted emotionally. When I was laid off from my most recent job, I sobbed for two days straight. I was a mess (and still am, but getting better each day). It was akin to grief I’d felt over the death of a loved one, or the ending of a relationship. None of which made any sense to me, because it was just a job.
Except it wasn’t just a job. I had let it become my identity. I was proud to say, I’m an elementary school librarian, whenever people inquired about my job. I was proud to finally be working Monday – Friday, 8:00am-4:00pm. I had finally made it into a job that had a schedule that worked for me, health insurance, and a job I loved going to every day.
My job became my identity. And when that job was taken away from me, I didn’t know who I was without it. It’s taken a few days to regain my footing, and to reevaluate who I am.
I am a person who loves books. I am a person who loves libraries. I am a person who loves kids. I am a person who is creative, and loves expressing herself. I am a person who has been through worse. I am a person who is sheltered by God, and guided by Him. He has led me to every wonderful job I have ever had. And His guidance will lead me to where I am meant to be next.
I don’t know what is next. I have a few projects I’m going to start working on this summer, and I’m sure you’ll see announcements about that. Due to the shut down schools, colleges, and libraries near me are not hiring. While I will keep checking periodically, I’m also going to focus on myself this summer (like I had always intended to do). I’m also considering going back to school for my Master’s Degree. This was always in the line up of things I would do in my life, but maybe it’s been moved to the front of the line.
I don’t know what is next. But I do know I’m going to rediscover who I am. Even though I don’t have the job title of “librarian,” that is still who I am. I am a librarian, and so much more.
I hope you hang out here, or on social media, with me in the mean time. Thank you all for your support and likes on my reviews so far. I get so happy each time we get to chat in the comments, or read each others reviews. I hope and pray that none of you are experiencing a job loss, or the loss of a loved one right now.
Stay safe. Read all the books.